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Progressive Politics in Minnesota, the Nation, and the World

Learning To Talk Like Trump

Category: Donald Trump
Posted: 01/30/17 11:27

by Dave Mindeman

I have the best brain (not close) and use the best words (terrible description). People I know always tell me that I am so smart. (no, they don't) I graduated from the best school (in North Dakota) at the top of my class (not really).

My doctor (kind of a doctor) says that I am the healthiest person ever (if you don't include chronic conditions). That no one is in better health than I am (well, in the top 99%).

I surround myself with top people (at least they say so) who give me the best guidance (they tell me where I can go all the time) on the toughest decisions. Everybody says I have the greatest judgment (again, they don't) and that they trust me (well maybe trust is a little far) to always give them good, solid advice (again, no they don't).

When I walk into a room, it lights up (because I turn on the switch) and the electricity is palpable (again because I turned on the switch). Other people look to me (well they know I am there) for life changing advice (or not) about their new ventures (well, maybe not often).

When I seek out advice (which I never do), I turn to people who have the best backgrounds (solid YES people). They are the top people in their fields (maybe a stretch regarding top) and know exactly what to say (I agree with you) when I seek them out (if they answer the phone).

So, I just wanted to say that you can count on me (I wouldn't) to do the best thing (for me) in every case (that affects me) and that I will hold the highest ethical standard (again, highest is the goal) in any dealing (I make the best deals) I have regarding your goals (as long as they coincide with mine).

Thanks for listening. (Well, not thanks - you really had no choice).
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