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Progressive Politics in Minnesota, the Nation, and the World

A Trump Christmas Story

Category: Donald Trump
Posted: 11/27/17 07:09

by Dave Mindeman

And it came to pass, there went out a decree from Donicus Trumpdisgusticus that all the country should pay royalties to the emperor. And everyone was to go to the house of his lineage to sign up.

So, Joseph and Mary, descendants of Benicus Franklin, set forth on their journey to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. It was an arduous journey and Mary was great with child.

When they entered the city they searched for a place to stay - all the Trump hotels were filled with Trump attorneys and Russian agents, so there was no room for them in the Inn-Tel. Desperate, Joseph begged the concierge for help. He would take anything. Finally relenting, the staff found an old shed in the back that usually doubled as a money laundering facility.

There was no furniture and Joseph, the carpenter, had to fashion a manger out of excess wood and found some straw to use for bedding. And Mary brought forth a young son and named him Donald for the great emperor. But Joseph overruled her, saying he must be named Jesus - or this story has no meaning.

Meanwhile, a group of unemployed steel workers were tending to their cans of beer in a clearing just outside of town. When low and behold, Ivanka appeared before them (no one is sure why) and said..

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of Benicus Franklin a new leader has been born to you. You will find him the lying in a manger."

The steel workers said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which Ivanka has told us about."

And so they set out on their journey only to be stopped at the city entrance because they could not establish proper residency requirements - and they were turned away.

As nightfall came, a bright shining star, the star of the Eastern Seaboard, shone brightly above the new baby and 3 wise men in the Far East observed the phenomena with great interest. They said, "this must be a sign - let us travel afar and see what this can mean."

And so, they set out on their long journey, bearing gifts from afar of gold, frankencense and myrrh. But after traveling the ocean and arriving in Mexico, they were halted at the border by a great wall and a border check. Since they did not have proper ID or papers, they, too, were turned away and forced to go back empty handed....and yes, their gifts of gold, frankencense and myrrh were confiscated and added to the US treasury.

So, Joseph and Mary and Jesus spent a lonely night in the tool shed. Listening to the sounds of city opulence - waiting for the morning when they would offer their meager tributes to the emperor.

The End.
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